Time

     
     Sometimes I get SO exhausted. At the end of the day all I want to do is sit on the couch and clear my head and relax. I know I have it easy, my mom is very helpful and Brielle is a wonderful baby; I'm just tired. During the day I play with Brielle and clean but in the evening I have NO motivation. Right when I sit down baby wants to walk. She wants to look around and be close to Mama. I find myself becoming frustrated with Spencer for not "helping" enough. But he does try to help! He always offers to take her and walk but I want it done a certain way. Deep down I know it should be me holding baby girl and deep down I WANT to. I realized something the other day. This is the only chance I get with her. Pretty soon she won't want me to hold her and walk her. Pretty soon she's not going to want to bounce on my lap and pull my hair. This is my one chance I have with my daughter as a baby. Before I know it she'll be gone.
      
     So when she is fussing I'm going to happily lay down with her even if it means I miss T.V. time. WHO CARES??? There will always be a new show, there will always be a new "cliffhanger" but Brielle will not always be here needing and wanting me. The other night Brielle kept fussing so I went and let her lay in bed with me and she stopped and just looked at me. I touched her soft, fuzzy hair and rubbed her back until she fell asleep. That was a moment I can't replace and if I hadn't taken the time to just lay with her I would have missed it. 
     
     I love being a mom. Some days yes, I want to just hide and be alone but everyday I love being a wife to Spencer and a mother to Brielle. I will never pass up a moment with my husband or with Brielle.